The Blank Spaces

It smells like pancakes and all I can hear are the waves.

I’ve been thinking of those spaces between the words- when we read/write them.

We need them. They are blank, they seem like nothing, rather than the something that they are. Without those spaces we wouldn’t be reminded to pause-and breathe.

The blank spaces force you to stop. Force you to pause.

When we are writing it forces us to pick up that pencil or pen and move over a little. Sometimes it grants us an ever longer pause and a re-think. We may question midway through what we are doing, what direction we are going, is the road ahead the correct one?

When we are reading we have already let ourselves go to the task. Some part of us is open to take in the words that are simply ink to paper in front of our eyes. In the spaces between the words, we pause, our eyes skip over. Sometimes it gives us a breather. It clearly separates thoughts, and different situations.

Life gives us those blank spaces.

Without knowing what to do with them is what many of us equate to boredom. To ‘a lul,’in a ‘bit of a slump.’ What awful adjectives to describe life and living...

I think that if we place sluggish and unattractive adjectives between the exciting, adventurous words of our lives we quite simply- misuse the pause.

Life is saying BREATHE. This space is necessary, you will see.

With the most respect, love, and kindness,

Brooke

Being Alone on an Explorer Ship

Every morning I wake up and it takes me about 3 full and complete seconds to realize that no little dog is jumping at my feet or there for kisses.

Eating my meals is different, looking at time is different. Coming home is different. My priorities are different.

I have not been alone in over 10 years. It has always been me and my little magical dog. And now its me and my gemstones and crystals and the earth.

It's different. I'm not a fan. I feel lonely. I feel lost. I feel bored. I feel sad. I feel sleepy.

Tucked up in a mysterious yellow tiki hut above the crashing surf makes me feel even further from the real world than ever.

Beautiful sadness. Breathtaking scenic loneliness.

"Only he who gives up is defeated. Everyone else is victorious.
And the day will come when those difficult moments are merely stories to be told proudly to those who will listen. And they will listen respectfully and learn three important things:
Wait patiently for the right moment to act.
Do not let the next opportunity slip by you.
Take pride in your scars."
-Paulo Coelho

We have to keep on walking forwards...walking backwards will take us nowhere. Nowhere new, nowhere we haven't seen already before.

Therefore lets explore! Take life on as it is meant to be taken on, as an adventure.

I listen to the roaring waves as if I am living on the deck of a explorer ship destine only for something great and exciting, something dangerous but worth it.

Cheers to the journey.

-Brooke

Forever Boston

It has been a bit since I have felt normal. Life is a maze. A whirlwind. As good as it can be at times, it can equally and with the same amount of force- be bad.

I was beyond stoked to have the opportunity to travel and visit Thailand last month. It was a last minute call but something I have dreamed of for as long as i can remember. The culture, the history,
the FOOD...

After almost 30 hours of travel (I will admit Emirates Airlines was absolutely amazing) I got to Bangkok, exhausted.

That night I got the phone call that Boston passed away.

<pause for a cry...again>

It was 3 am for me over in Asia. I cried through all the toilet paper provided, the towel, my pillow case and my t shirts. To date I believe that was the worst thing that has happened in my life. I understand that death is part of life, it is an unenviable fact that I have had to face many times already, but even so, I was not in the least prepared for this.

10 and a half years, we were <pause for another cry> supposed to live until we were 100 together. You know in the movies where you sell part of your soul for a loved one to come back. I was seriously wondering how to make that happen.

As my life is crazy and beautiful, its constantly moving..and Boston was my lifeline. The tether that was connected to a guarantee. My little rock. That little guy was everything to me. In all the haze, mess, craziness that is my life, he was the one thing the one thing that brought me to peace.

Whew...trying to write this through the tears is tough.

After about 6 hours of crying, and crying myself into a migraine, i stood up from my little ball on the floor and took a shower.

Went outside, grabbed a coffee and met a friend.

What I do know is that he is not gone. He is not in the beautiful little vessel he was in that we all know, but he is still here. His spirit is everywhere. In the moth that wouldn't leave my tent in Pai, Thailand, in the eyes of the dogs at the shelter I helped at in Koh Lanta, in the birds that sing in the trees as I walk by the temples in Chaing Mai.  For that I am blessed. I am grateful for being given the absolute privilege to have shared 10 of the best years of my life traveling, living, laughing, and dancing with that precious little dog.

I lived that month in Thailand for HIM. Happy because that is exactly what he did- make everyone HAPPY.

Love, Brooke