Forever Boston

It has been a bit since I have felt normal. Life is a maze. A whirlwind. As good as it can be at times, it can equally and with the same amount of force- be bad.

I was beyond stoked to have the opportunity to travel and visit Thailand last month. It was a last minute call but something I have dreamed of for as long as i can remember. The culture, the history,
the FOOD...

After almost 30 hours of travel (I will admit Emirates Airlines was absolutely amazing) I got to Bangkok, exhausted.

That night I got the phone call that Boston passed away.

<pause for a cry...again>

It was 3 am for me over in Asia. I cried through all the toilet paper provided, the towel, my pillow case and my t shirts. To date I believe that was the worst thing that has happened in my life. I understand that death is part of life, it is an unenviable fact that I have had to face many times already, but even so, I was not in the least prepared for this.

10 and a half years, we were <pause for another cry> supposed to live until we were 100 together. You know in the movies where you sell part of your soul for a loved one to come back. I was seriously wondering how to make that happen.

As my life is crazy and beautiful, its constantly moving..and Boston was my lifeline. The tether that was connected to a guarantee. My little rock. That little guy was everything to me. In all the haze, mess, craziness that is my life, he was the one thing the one thing that brought me to peace.

Whew...trying to write this through the tears is tough.

After about 6 hours of crying, and crying myself into a migraine, i stood up from my little ball on the floor and took a shower.

Went outside, grabbed a coffee and met a friend.

What I do know is that he is not gone. He is not in the beautiful little vessel he was in that we all know, but he is still here. His spirit is everywhere. In the moth that wouldn't leave my tent in Pai, Thailand, in the eyes of the dogs at the shelter I helped at in Koh Lanta, in the birds that sing in the trees as I walk by the temples in Chaing Mai.  For that I am blessed. I am grateful for being given the absolute privilege to have shared 10 of the best years of my life traveling, living, laughing, and dancing with that precious little dog.

I lived that month in Thailand for HIM. Happy because that is exactly what he did- make everyone HAPPY.

Love, Brooke